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Wednesday, February 28, 2007
i was high during training just now. with all the funny things tt happened, like amanda's humorosity and the nonsense conversation we had on the way to hc. but now im back home, its time to think abt what had happened. argh. i never felt tt i had to say this but yah, i think im emo-ing now. bleah.
i seriously am deproving a lot. i can sense it. my throws never seem to work now. at least they did a little in the past. but now i cannot get my throws to work. i keep forgetting to pull and break balance during randori, and all i use is my leg power. i felt pretty sad, when seeing all the guys shi ai-ing, competiting for a spot in individuals, while me, i am seriously quite terrible compared to them, yet i can get a place in just because we have the exact no of ppl. and i dunno. its not like i havent been training. i just dunno how come i cannot seem to improve. true i have only just joined and i cannot expect myself to be as good as my team mates, but the least i can be expecting is for myself to be improving, but i dunno why i just dun see myself improving. does the problem lie with me? i seriously dunno.
alright tts all the ranting i have to do. i havent felt like this in a long long time. hope i will be fine tomorrow.
jac8:07 PM
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